Keep It Real

I have spent some time searching my heart. I want to know who I really I am and why I do what I do? I want integrity. I want to be trusted. I need accountability. You see I am a caring person. I love my friends and family, but I’ve recently had to ask myself “Am I a people pleaser or am I doing what I genuinely want to do or want to say?”. You might be thinking “who wants to be a people pleaser?” You might be thinking that people pleasers are weak. However, what are you doing when you say or don’t say something to the benefit of others or as to not hurt their feelings. You may not lie but you don’t give it to them straight out. I can be like that. I call it good manners but maybe I just want to be pleasing. We may or may not say/do something in order not to be contrary. Why? Do you not want to be pleasing to someone? Harsher yet is, do you tell someone something negative or gossipy about someone, but smile and act as a sincere friend in their presence. Face it, ladies, there can be a little people pleasing in all of us. You just have your own scenario. I applaud you however if you are above people pleasing. I want to talk about integrity though.

American Heritage Dictionary defines Integrity as

• Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
• The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
• The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

I want to be consistent in my life. I want others to be confident in who I am. Yet, I as say this, I am convicted in my heart. Ladies, what really counts is how am I living before God. How am I living in regards to His will and His purposes for my life. Honestly, it’s all about Him. If I live according to Bible’s teaching/instruction then “Hey, World, like me or not, I am living for Jesus.”

John Maxwell, a Christian author on leadership, says: Image is what people think we are: integrity is what we really are.
Integrity is not so much what we do as much as who we are.

So who am I???? I say I am a Christian. But consider the following quote:

"No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true" -- Nathaniel Hawthorne in The Scarlet Letter

I know what’s true. I do know who I am. So ladies here’s what I dug back up to help me achieve and maintain integrity in my Christian lifestyle. I literally typed these questions out, laminated them, and used it as a bookmark a few years back. These seem to impose impossible standards but they are doable. Just maybe not all at once. Sorry, I forgot to copy the website address for reference.

Here is one set of nearly two dozen questions similar to what John Wesley gave to members of his discipleship groups more than 200 years ago. The questions have their origin in the spiritual accountability group started by Wesley when he was a student at Oxford -- a group that detractors called "The Holy Club." The first list appeared about 1729 or 1730 in the preface to Wesley's second Oxford Diary.

1. Am I consciously or unconsciously creating the impression that I am better than I really am? In other words, am I a hypocrite?
2. Do I confidentially pass on to others what has been said to me in confidence?
3. Can I be trusted?
4. Am I a slave to dress, friends, work or habits?
5. Am I self-conscious, self-pitying, or self-justifying?
6. Did the Bible live in me today?
7. Do I give the Bible time to speak to me every day?
8. Am I enjoying prayer?
9. When did I last speak to someone else of my faith? Do I pray about the money I spend?
10. Do I get to bed on time and get up on time?
11. Do I disobey God in anything?
12. Do I insist upon doing something about which my conscience is uneasy?
13. Am I defeated in any part of my life?
14. Am I jealous, impure, critical, irritable, touchy or distrustful?
15. How do I spend my spare time?
16. Am I proud?
17. Do I thank God that I am not as other people, especially as the Pharisees who despised the publican?
18. Is there anyone whom I fear, dislike, disown, criticize, hold a resentment toward or disregard? If so, what am I doing about it?
19. Do I grumble or complain constantly?
20. Is Christ real to me?

Okay, here’s a story for integrity

Yesterday, I told my son when he came home from school, he had to go to church because it was important for him to participate and be with church friends. He said he would go. I told him I was going to go as well. It got close to time to go to church and I was genuinely sleepy. I have been on a sleep deficit for a few days. I had time to get ready and go but I did not want to. I wanted to sleep. Ladies, I wasn’t going to church to please anybody. I was supposed to go to church to get fed spiritually and love on church friends. Afterall, I was just explaining this to my son just a few short hours ago. So did I choose to do as I say and go to church? No, Kevin went in my place. Hey, someone had to go so my son could see how important it is to go to church. You see ladies, I still have so much to learn…specifically obedience, but that’s another blog.