Mom's Home

Be still my heart. This morning, I go to wake up my son and he says "Mom's Home"! (I was gone 1 whole day - whoopee!) Wow, I am surprised and but still startled by the creature that awaited me as I flipped on the light. There stood a life size poster of Heath Ledger as the Joker with a sinister grin and I cannot determine if his eyes are open or closed. He looked like he was saying "Do you dare wake him up? Are you ready?". I tickle my son's feet. He rolls over and asks "How was your time with Sonia and the girls?" What????? You are asking about me??? My friends????. Okay here it comes "THERE'S A GOD!" (Kevin hates when I say this). I briefly tell him and ask how school went yesterday. Of course, I get "same old thing". We share a few words about school and then I leave. I am going down the stairs and I hear, "I love you!". My heart skipped a beat.

What's so significant about this morning? You see this is the boy who has lived some rebel years and he's only 17 next week. No details will be given here, but trust we have shed some tears and our knees are scarred with time in prayer. He is still a growing boy both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. More significant is this boy has survived his mother's untimely lectures, angry reactions, and senseless pressures. He has survived his mother's queen like demands, silly, embarrassing behaviors, and tiresome requests for participation in traditional routines and celebrations. He is a survivor, and he still loves me!

I still love him. What? You are saying. Who does not love their children unconditionally? I don't know. But trust I am challenged to show love at times. You see this boy in his flannel pj bottoms, and scruffy hair, looking so handsome is the same boy who challenges my and all authority. This is the boy whose life screams "Let me sleep...let me be lazy!" This boy whose same lips saying "I love you" has practiced how many cuss words can I use in one sentence, in front of me! This is the boy who debates for hours on end with me on the simplest of subjects. This is a boy who loved this past political election because we were on opposite sides. He was an informed and well studied opponent otherwise I would not have debated him. I was glad he was not old enough to vote. I guess you get the picture.

I want to share with you how important it is to choose love with your teenager or your children in general. I have looked up some things to help us. You see I experience some trials with my boy on occasion, but I choose to love. I have to remember his sweetness. I have to remember the "I love yous", "the thank yous" and his rare hugs. I remember the child who wouldn't let me step on ants, the child who patiently allows a 4 year old to play his literally hundreds if not thousand dollars of music equipment, and (my favorite) the boy who fed an elderly lady a cookie she could not feed herself, and played a memory game with an elderly man and set it up for the man to win every time! I remember the little baby boy who would give "Sugar Kisses". OKAY I will stop!! This sounds like a brag book, sorry. The point is this boy (or your child) will challenge you, but remember who they really are. Love them for what they did in past and who they are quickly becoming. Sorry my blogs are so long but if you have time please read the info and especially the poems below. They touched me.

Tips on Staying Connected with Your Teen
Communication and understanding are crucial to every facet a of parent-child relationship. Discipline is no different. Here are some helpful hints on how to cultivate respect from your kids:
Keep communicating with your teens, even if they don't seem to be listening. Talk about topics that interest them.

• Respect and ask their opinions.
• Give them privacy. That doesn't mean you can't knock on their door when you want to talk.
• Set limits on their behavior based on your values and principles. They will grudgingly respect you for this.
• Continually tell them and show them you believe in who they are rather than what they accomplish.
• Seek professional help if your teen's abnormal behaviors last more than three weeks. http://life.familyeducation.com
  

Understanding Your Teenager's Emotional Health

What should I know about my teenager's emotional health?
The teenage years are a time of transition from childhood into adulthood. Teens often struggle with being dependent on their parents while having a strong desire to be independent. They may also feel overwhelmed by the emotional and physical changes they are going through.

At the same time, teens may be facing a number of pressures-- from friends to fit in and from parents and other adults to do well in school or activities like sports or part-time jobs. The teenage years are important as your child asserts his or her individuality.

What can I do to help my teen?
Communicating your love for your child is the single most important thing you can do. Children decide how they feel about themselves in large part by how their parents react to them. For this reason, it's important for parents to help their children feel good about themselves. It is also important to communicate your values and to set expectations and limits, such as insisting on honesty, self-control and respect for others, while still allowing teenagers to have their own space.

Parents of teens often find themselves noticing only the problems, and they may get in the habit of giving mostly negative feedback and criticism. Although teens need feedback, they respond better to positive feedback. Remember to praise appropriate behavior in order to help your teen feel a sense of accomplishment and reinforce your family's values.

Establishing a loving relationship from the start will help you and your child through the teenage years.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) suggests the following ways for parents to prepare for their child's teenage years:

• Provide a safe and loving home environment.
• Create an atmosphere of honesty, trust and respect.
• Allow age-appropriate independence and assertiveness.
• Develop a relationship that encourages your teen to talk to you when he or she is upset.
• Teach responsibility for your teen's belongings and yours.
• Teach basic responsibility for household chores.
• Teach the importance of accepting limits. http://familydoctor.org
  

Trash by Alexandra
You're throwing it away, you're wasting your life.

You're too young to know what decisions to make.
You're too stupid to know what opportunities to take.

You're just a teenager, too rebellious and wild to think.
You're on the brink of falling over the edge.
Don't take a step too far, be cautious,
right now you're on the ledge.

I'm just trying to help, so don't raise your voice.
It's not your choice anymore.
You must do as I say, you can't have it your way.

You don't know what you want.
You can't have what you hunt.

You can't have your own dreams, you have mine.

I couldn't live my life to the fullest,
so I'm going to make yours the dullest.

Don't waste your life or throw it away
because you're living it for me, my way.
http://100-poems.com/poems/teen

While You Were Sleeping
by Tara Simms While you were sleeping,

I sat by your bed.
I watched you
as you smiled through your dreams.

I traced your perfect shell ear,
Touched every curl
On your little head.

I tried to sleep
But the sound of your breathing
Drew me back to your room.

I couldn't resist
The magic which tugged
At my heartstrings
And brought me to your side.

I settled on the floor
Once again.
Back against the wall,
Holding your tiny hand in mine.

While you were sleeping
I fell in love with you all over again.
http://www.netpoets.com/poems/family