Saying Goodbye - So far Away

I am going on a long extended vacation. Today and tomorrow will prove to be very busy.  I leave on Sunday morning.

My vacation is back home where I was born in California. It has been 13 years since my last visit. I have family I have never met – nieces, nephews. I have family who I need to reconnect with. I have family that I just need a hug from. I see this visit as an opportunity to rest, relax and renew relationships. It is my prayer that all will go well and I will remain healthy enough to enjoy.

Leaving my family and friends back home will be bittersweet. I will be gone for nearly a month. I have grown to call North Carolina my forever home. I love it here. I love the life we created here. I love the friends, we call family here. Change happens so quickly. I know coming home to North Carolina will be wonderfully “new”.

I will be back yet I want to say good bye for now to the following people:

Friends in Polk County, I will miss you and upon my return, I look forward to more coffee and giggles, more time thrown on your sofas, and many nice meals at Side Street pizza.

Dear church family at West Point Baptist, I will miss you and your hugs, love and encouragement. I will miss my Sunday school fellowship and the soul-life stirring messages from the pulpit. Please continue to pray for me and for our family. Thank you for inspiring me to be mission minded and I will take the “call” with me.

My beach buddies and forever friends – thank you for your hugs, your ears and your prayers. My marriage and life here on this earth is enriched because of your faithfulness and loyalty. I am welling up with tears because I will miss knowing you are just minutes away. I love you so very dearly.

My blog and Facebook friends thank you for allowing me to share my life with you and you in turn sharing your life with me. I will be away from my computer and will not have daily access to one. I will miss out on your celebrations and your needs. Pls post pics and share on my timeline page. I will check it as much as I am able. I don't want to miss a thing. You all make me laugh, cry and encourage me so much.

Though my family has or will get a physical goodbye, I will post the following, just in case they take a peek at my blog.

Brooke, honey the obvious is I will miss you. We both have said “It is just good enough to know that we are close by if we need each other” during those times we don't get to visit. I hate knowing that I cannot leave and say my usual “Call me if you need me.” I tell you now though, “Call your Dad (North Carolina dad) if you need him.” He is here for you too. Please know again and remember that you stole my heart with your first smile. If God would of gave me a daughter, I would of picked you! I love you dear “heart daughter”. You are doing fine. You will be okay. I am proud of who you are and your “big girl” panties are pretty on you. You are so beautiful – must be my “heart” genes. Lol! I will miss you honey...still call me! I have my cell.

Jordan and Jayden, Nana is going to miss her hugs and kisses from you. Who said you two could grow up so fast. I still want to stroll you around the mall and spoil you Jordan! Jayden I still want to put ruffled dresses and bows in your hair....you're momma wasnt big on ruffles though : ( Nana will be back just in time to shop for Christmas. I expect you to come on Christmas eve and get your traditional Christmas pajamas and presents. I love you both sooo much.

Amber, dear, I am so blessed that you are such a good mother. I am so proud of you making choices that were unselfish and sacrificial. You are such a devoted mother and John Thomas is so healthy emotionally and physically because of your love for him. Thank you for spending time having lunches with me. Thank you for sharing Thomas with me. I will miss you both. Please call or text me while I am away. I always ask for pics and it gets on your nerves but maybe you can send me a pic or two so I won't go insane without seeing our little man. Call Kevin if you need him for anything. He is here for you too.

John Thomas you are too little to read this, but Nana is crying because she will miss you so much. It will be a long time before I get to feel you arms around my neck and get your gentle pecks of kisses. I won't be able to read you the same book over and over again. I won't get to stack blocks for you to knock over. I won't get to feed you macaroni and cheese or mashed potatoes. I won't get to hear you say “Ah!” after drinking your juice. You are growing too fast John Thomas. Nana will have to take more pictures of you. Come see Grandpa while I am gone. He loves you sooo much.

Tim, son, I just want you to know that none of us are perfect. I am not perfect. You however were made by a perfect God. I love you Tim. I love your humor. I love your kindness to the underdog. You do have a caring heart. I love how you show manners and politeness. I love your creativity and sharp wit. Tim I love you for who you are. You are your best when you are true to yourself. I am proud of you for keeping your job, for paying your rent, and learning to thrive in this world that can be so cold. Your dad and I love you no matter what. Understand this Tim. Make choices that are wise. Remember Who is in control and seek Him. You don't have to be good enough-just humble enough to accept His grace and mercy. I am going to go see your grandma who loves you so much. I wish you could go with me. I will be back. I know I will find you at peace and happier. Please make time to have supper with your dad while I am gone.

Cory, son, I can hardly type because I am so sad that I won't get to be here when you get off work. I won't get to watch our favorite shows with you. I won't get to hear about your thoughts and daily experiences. You are a responsible and mature young man. I am so proud of you. I know life has challenged you. I know nothing has been easy lately. However, I also know you are growing in faith and you know where your strength comes from. I love you Cory. I love your hearty laugh, your compulsions to be neat and orderly like me, your helpfulness and your heart that is willing to serve and provide. I don't know what I will do without you when I am gone. I do know that I will be back and will cherish our time together. You are on your journey to life on your own. You will do great because you serve a great and mighty God. Take care of dear old dad for us all. He needs help too. Make sure you tell him to get to bed...he stays up way too late and I have to drag him to bed sometimes. Thank you Cory for being the best “you”.

Kevin, husband and friend, I am crying again. What a horrid two years it has been in so many ways, yet here you are...so strong, so steady...my rock. We have survived life together. We have lived out all the vows of our marriage – rich or poor; sickness and in health. We have survived the winds of change and the stillness and coldness of emotions and the lack thereof at times. I am a child of God but on this earth, I am nothing without you. I have no identity without you because I don't like who I am without you. You make me MAD! I should of never become so dependent on you but I allowed it and now I don't want to live without you. Please take care of our family. Check on Tim and make sure he knows we are here for him. Call for Thomas and spend time with him. Encourage Cory to talk and share his thoughts and life with you. Of course I will leave a honey do list for when I am gone but it won't be long. Also, don't get used to all the covers on our bed! Remind yourself that you are making coffee for only one while I am gone. I love you John Kevin Friend and like it says on over our bed, “I love you forever and always until the day after.” Thank you for allowing me to go see my family. I need them so badly. I miss them. But I am coming back to my favorite place in the world...Your Arms!

Thank you all for letting me indulge myself by sharing my feelings. You are Loved, acf

Click on Link for "So Far Away" by Carole King