Kevin's Leaf

Kevin brought me a leaf home. It was a maple shaped leaf. It has red edges then inside the red was yellow edges, then in the middle was green. It was so different and very revealing. I thought of stages of life....my life. I searched for my life in God's word today.

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her (Luke 10:38-42)

Sometimes I find myself being "Martha". In fact, most candidly I was a "Martha." I would get so busy with the details and taking care of everything, and making sure every one was "good" - either their needs met and they are prepared for whatever is ahead or making sure everyone was at peace with no hurt feelings regarding me or sometimes others. I wish I could say I became less of a Martha because I turned to Jesus and put Him first and consistently did my morning devotions and did daily Bible study. However, truth be known I turned "40" and said "ENOUGH". Now I like I said earlier I find myself being a "Martha" every so often. I tend to want to micro-manage. Turning 40 was a wonderful time for me. I felt a sense of I am all grown up, my naive 20's are behind me, my impress my world with "I am a wonderful mother" 30's are long gone, and now in the 40's it's all about me and God. It should of been all along. : ( As Jesus said "Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary." I believe it was cultivating and making my relationship with Jesus a priority.

And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. (1 John 2:17)

Today I am reminded that the most important work for me – what needs to consume me is doing God's purposes for me. I have family distractions. I have health distractions. I have selfish distractions. However, for the most part I like to think of myself as growing mature in Christ. As I grow, I no longer “care” about impressions. I no longer care about “feelings” and mending. I choose to go and do and “mend” as God leads. I am not talking about forgiveness which I am commanded to do. I am talking about hand holding and making sure someone is okay when they are overwhelmed with “feelings” of insecurity when they know Jesus and know where to go and have already received my empathy. I cannot desire this world nor the relationship stability of “high maintenance” friends. I know this sounds so harsh. I am a loving, kind, and caring person in Christ but sometimes my distractions are selfish. I want to make every one happy and like me. Well, like I said earlier, I turned 40 and said “Grow up girlfriend (myself) and do what “abides forever”.

I am going somewhere with this post. It is just taking a bit. What needs to be understood here is I am seeing our world as we know it coming to either a soon “end” or huge change. I know that I must desire what my eternity holds. I must focus on the will of God.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)

I admit it...I am “ti..ard” as they say here in the south. I am tired of joint pain, weight gain, and family problems. I am tired because I don't always go where I need to for rest. I pray. I ask my friends and a family to help pray. I receive peace and I have seen the hand of God work. It is encouraging and faith building. However I need that peace and true rest that comes again from spending time with Jesus- prayer and His Word. Where else would be the best place to go? By the way, who else is offering? And if the world is offering – what are they offering that is eternal and powerful as being with Jesus.

Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal of the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

Forgetting the past is so very important to me. Sometimes the past is the ball and chain that imprisons me. I look at my past. I study my past looking for purpose and good, and learning from failures too. I know when my past experiences are helpful in understanding others. It is when the clouds roll in and the skies are dark. When Jesus seems distant that I question and sometimes wonder if I am still paying for my past choices – use of words, actions done-not done, etc. It is during these times that I must choose to look up! Get up! And “strain” forward. The goal to fulfill the “call”...not be perfect, not be physically beautiful, not be “Mrs. Christian” of the year but BE THERE....Straining to be there – loosening the ball and chain.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;...

I am reflecting on my life this morning. It is fall. I am dropping leaves so to speak. I am pruning my dead branches and I am ready to restore. I have often spoke to friends about “seasons” of life. Today I embrace these verses. Today I see my life in a big picture. It isn't a masterpiece but it is an original. It is my life and I am accountable for it. I am soon to leave for a month long vacation to California to see my mom and family. I will encounter new experiences and some challenges I am sure. However, in this season, I will heal, I will plant, and I will laugh.

It is my prayer for you that you will find your life in God's Word as I did today. It is my prayer that you will listen to His call. It is my prayer that you will find your “season” and live in it and be better for it.

You are Loved, acf

(ESV Bible used for scripture references.)