Friday, November 19, 2010

Baby Friend

A little boy was born 19 years ago next week.  He was comfy in his mom's tummy and didn't want to meet the world so he was induced (forced) into it.  So has his life been.  He just does what he wants, when he wants. 

I have great memories of this kid.  He was such a smiling, happy baby...as long as he was held.  He demanded it or he would cry a cry that curled your toes.  It was a good thing he slept for hours at a time.  It seemed this child was destined to enjoy his life his way.  I gave in.  I loved this kid so much that many a sacrifice was made to accomodate his uniqueness.  I wouldn't change a thing.  Really.  He has such wit and I realize now that he has genuineness and integrity to who he wants to be.  I don't have to agree with his choices but I see his sincerity.  I just want to shake him at times but can't!

Tim has brought many a tear to my face.  If you have read this blog long enough you know the intense emotions I have endured with this son.  I still have tears of sadness that flow over onto my face.  I want my son to achieve all his potential.  I want him to enjoy a full and prosperous life.  I want him most to know God and live for Him and have the blessings of God.  However, today I write of tears of joy.

I hear that God works in mysterious ways.  It sounds cliche.  How true it is in Tim's life today.  Tim is one of the classic scenarios of young man, no job, no extended education, living at home and no commitment to Christian living that is going to be a DAD.  Now before you judge him, be careful, this mama bear will claw your eyes out.  I am well aware that this isn't the best situation according to the world's standards.  I am however believing in the mysterious hand of God to work this baby's  life out for the best.  God gave this baby life and knitted him/her in the womb.  It is my prayer that Tim will rise up and mature and see God's love for him and surrender his life to Christ and provide a good life for Baby Friend and Amber.

Twenty one years ago, Kevin my husband, a professed agnostic, found out how real God is when he delivered our son, Cory.  The doctor had asked kevin if he would like to deliver Cory and Kevin had said no.  But the doctor said "I think you should" and he sat kevin down.  The hands that Cory first felt were his dad's.  Kevin cried like a baby and said he saw God that day. His life was never the same.  He fully committed his life to Christ.

Tim is resistent to what he calls "Christian/Psycho babble".  I don't see a huge miracle in his life like Kevin but I do believe it can happen.  Your prayers are appreciated.


Amber and her Mom

Let me share about Amber.  She is beautiful.  She is physically flawless in my opinion.  Exotic looking with big, dark, eyes, amber skin, and long pretty hair.  She is smart, intelligent, and talented. She completed her first year of college in Charleston, SC.  She is a chemistry major.  She is a talented percussionist.  She plays many percussion instruments flawlessly.  She is from a close knit family. 

Amber and Tim have been together for almost 2 years.  They have endured some interesting situations that have tested their relationship this past year but overall these two are very relaxed with each other. They laugh and enjoy simple things.  The baby hasn't changed them much.  These two are taking things slowly and keeping things calm.

Amber has been pretty sick and has to be on meds for nausea.  She is doing her best and I am so proud of her for hanging in there.  She is officially 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant.  Amber is in control of this situation.  She as a woman has many options for the baby.  I believe she is going to keep the baby at this time.  Please keep her in your prayers as she embraces this special time and cares for this beautiful child in her.

So what does this mean for me?  I am going to be a grandma!  It has been said that when your children have a baby outside of marriage and the situation is not ideal, that your joy is stolen when want to celebrate being a grandmother.  Well, it is true.  Some people are opinionated, cruel, judgmental, and non-supportive, and truthfully they have a right to be.  They are thinking about finances, lack of morals, and other things they may feel.  I can't take away their right to express themselves.  I however choose joy!  I don't know why God chose to give my son and Amber a baby but He did!  He has a purpose for this child.  I am going to be an involved Grandmother, in as much as Amber lets me.  I can't wait to pull out the cradle that my father in law made me for the boys.  I won't until the spring but I am so excited. 

Kevin is excited too.  He doesn't show much emotion.  I see him beaming inside.  We have talked about how much we want to be involved and how precious the baby will be.  He too feels like he is not allowed by the world to celebrate this but we are going to!  We are grandparents and that's that. 

Brooke loves babies and she is so excited and wants to babysit and help.  She already wants to host a baby shower in the spring.  I just love her.

Cory thinks it is cool.  He wants it to be a boy.  He will have the best dressed nephew.  He wants to buy it 77 Kids clothes...American Eagle childrens line.  If if is a girl, will she be naked??? NOT! 


A Sweet Young Tim
 How does Tim feel?  Well, he is cautious.  He is not scared and comically says he will be a papa smurf.  He did admit it is embarrassing that he doesn't have a job and plan but he is glad the baby is coming.  He has had a hard time understanding Amber's sickness and tiredness.  He misses the laughs and energy of Amber.  He is going to be fine.  Last night he picked up a book that I bought for Amber on Baby Names.  He was making us laugh with the crazy names he was calling out. 

Pls pray for our family.  Cory is doing well.  He continues to go to college and do his internships.  Kevin is still unemployed and needs work.  I am still striving to accomplish health.  I will blog soon about my "Heart Event".  Thank you for reading.  It is therapeutic for me to put my thoughts in this diary. 

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anna, I absolutely loved your outlook on this situation. It is a real mixed bag of emotions. I too,have become an unepected grandma("granny")twice. I love my grandsons and would not trade them for anything in the world. Speaking of "World"... Don't ever allow the world to strip you of the joy that God has given you. His timing is perfect, even when it is beyond our understanding. May God continue to bless your family and the new one in the making. How ever it ends up.. remember that God's fingerprints are all over It's beautiful design. Praying for all of you , with His Love,
Mary

Red Hen said...

Anna, transparency is beautiful, my friend. You are gorgeous.

Leave the judgement to the Word. You keep being Mama Bear. They and this baby need you to do that. Encourage, hold them accountable, and see what God does!

ReadingToLearn said...

Very heartwarming to read about your bond with your prematurely born child. A friend's wife delivered at 7 months and it was touch and go, but the little fella made it though it and is a joy to all around him :)