I was driving to work yesterday morning, listening to "Radio Reader" on NPR. Don't make fun, Kevin left it playing in the van and I just left it on. It was mesmerizing. The man can read. He was reading about 2 men in a diner. I could envision the scene complete with voices and aroma. I came in at the tail end of the program but I wasn't too late for something he read that was profound to me.
Why does one travel? They travel so they can remember why they come home. (Not verbatim but close in theory).
It was profound to me because I have been upset lately that I have not had a vacation in years...real vacation. I would love a week at the beach, or a week in a log cabin in the mountains. I couldn't understand why I desired this so much. I have a lovely, spacious home. I have a wonderful view of the mountains. It is fairly quiet around here. The furniture is comfortable. However, I have this itch. I want to think it's because I need a distraction from my everyday life, but I am thinking something different. I need to miss home, appreciate home, and the family within. I have not been away from my home other than Jamaica last year. It was a beautiful experience and I truly came home grateful for my house and its normalcy. I was working there, and we were busy. How would I feel if I had some down time, in a comfortable setting, and with no home management responsibilities on vacation? Would I remember to come home?
Girlfriends, I am in a crisis of sorts. I am feeling real "yucky" for lack of a better word about "my" life. The part of my life that isn't focused on others, God, or responsibilities. I am beginning to understand why women feel they need to find out who they are. I know who I am and what I am to do in relation to others but who am I truly?
I seem to have forgotten what I truly like to do, listen to, and even feel. I don't think its anything serious. I am not complaining about being a mom, wife, friend, employee, Jesus girl, etc. I like these roles and I am trying to tend to them diligently. I just don't remember what I like. I am going to create a list of "my favorite things". This will be my therapy. Maybe I will even break out in song! The vacation isn't going to happen any time soon. Maybe as I rediscover who I am, I will "come home" just as refreshed and appreciative of home as if I just came home from a week on white sand, cool breezes and a sunny glow! NOT!!!
Love you ladies!
Lyrics to "My Favorite Things"
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things
Cream colored ponies and crisp apple streudels
Doorbells and sleigh bells and schnitzel with noodles
Wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings
These are a few of my favorite things
Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things
When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad
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