Calgon Take Me Away

To Catch You Up

TIM:
Tim went awol after 3 days of visiting at a friends house.  First two nights I had arranged with the boys mother for Tim to spend the night.  The third day-Saturday-he left at 4:00pm and was to return at 12:00am.  It is a house rule that no one stays the night at anyone's house on Saturdays because church is the next morning.  We checked in with Tim when we returned from a party on Saturday night.  It was ten.  He was very verbally abusive as he told his father he was not going to come home that night.  That started a text dialogue with me.  He would not talk verbally after our initial contact earlier.  His stance was "if I am not doing drugs or anything wrong then I should be able to do what I want."  Really?  NOT!  I told him to be home at midnight - PERIOD.  It was  1:35am when I text him again.  He gave me three different promises at three different times he was on his way home.  He still didn't show.  In fact he never came home, until we were at church.  Kevin had gone to work on Sunday morning.  I was devastated.  Kevin never went looking for him.  I didn't know what to do.  I of course thought that he was in a ravine somewhere.  I chose to go to church.  I needed my church family.  

Since then other issues arose out of Tim's defiance.  Kevin and I had to sort out some real conflict between us about discipline and expectation for respect and honor of our children.  Tim no longer gets to drive his pretty little car for 2 weeks.  He is driven and picked up from school.  He has no social life until March 1st.  When he gets his car again, and he defies his curfew, then we take the car again.  However, in my heart of hearts there has got to be a way to penetrate this son of mine.  I know we should place our children in the hands of the Lord and pray him through life.  I have a detailed list I try to pray daily.    When do we leave our children to their consequences and overlook their direction to destruction?  This is a balance I am having to learn.  So Happy Valentine's to Anna Friend!  I would rather open an empty Valentine Heart! Lol!  The Lord touched my heart Sunday night through this ordeal however.  9 children were baptized at our church Sunday night.  They were precious and very sincere.  I was put back 10 years ago when I had the privilege to walk Tim up to the altar to commit his life to Christ.  He had grabbed my hand at 6 years old and said with tears Mom I want to go up.  He was beautiful in my eyes.  A week later our then pastor dipped in the cool waters of his profession.  

You see ladies I must remember to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!  I need to remember that I need to do what I can do and allow God to do His part.  My son will make it.  (I just heard the previous 3 sentences from a lady on the TV right now).  God is good.  

WORKING OFF ANGER/HURT:
Monday I spent the day being busy.  I didn't want to be alone with my despair and I began to feel "funky".  A term a friend of mine uses for "spiritual downess".  I called a friend to come watch a movie with me.  I then went out side and washed and detailed my van.  I felt like a teenager wanting my car to look its best.  I spent time playing with Jayden and Jordan - sidewalk chalk art.  We had pizza and watched Hanna Montana shows.  Cory and I dragged ourselves out to Walmart for new van mats, air freshner, and booster seats for the kids.  Ladies, I didn't learn much.  I believe God would of rather me sit and listen to Him.  Let Him instill peace to me.  I was afraid to be alone with God.  I knew in my heart of hearts that my complaints and hurts re: my son's disrespect for my feelings and pain and my husband's apathetic appearance were somehow exaggerated or even my fault.  

Girlfriends, you can't run away from God!  He got a hold of me.  He was loving and revealing.  I wasn't in trouble...I was loved by God to take a closer look at our life.  Tuesday I was refreshed by His word and placed in HIS righteousness.  Then I previewed my Esther bible study DVD.  Girlfriends...she got hot and layed on us some Word of God that exposed the MEANNESS of women.  I was horrified.  She let us have it.  It was actually quite funny and truly put joy in my heart.  Again, God is good.

SHOPPING WITH CORY:
Yesterday, Kevin woke me up early and said he had to go into Greenville.  He asked if I wanted to ride with him and spend the day in Greenville to get away.  I asked Cory to go.  He still had a gift card to spend.  We had a great time.  Guess what?  We came home with nothing.  After killing ourselves at the mall walking off lunch, we came out without a bag.  It was a great lesson to me.  We were among all this materialism.  There were beautiful housewares,  clothes, PURSES, and goodies, CHEAP.   I was proud of Cory.  He and I came to the conclusion why would we buy anything.  We don't really NEED it.  We don't have the extra money to afford it as a treat or a gift.  So why buy it.  It might make us feel good but it is not worth it.  I was estatic about what God was showing he and I...the king and queen of shopping.  It was exceptionally hard for me to allow him to turn away from some jeans at American Eagle that were $50 for $30 and he had an additional 40% off coupon.  Girlfriends, we walked away but ooooh it was hard.  We did have one thing to bring home.  I sometimes drag Cory to thrift stores.  We saw a nasty, little, barred, Salvation Army store.  I dragged Cory into it with me.  It is recipient of some very nice items.  I saw a flat screen tv, front loading washer, Rainbow vacuum, and nice furniture.  I was blessed to walk in and greet some of the most friendly men to help us.  We came home with a carpet steam cleaner - new model, and exceptionally clean for $12.50.  It was 1/2 off.   It was a blessing.  

It was rainy and cold when we got home.  We picked up Tim from school.  We took rainy day naps and got up for church without a hitch.  Tim got in the shower and Cory woke up from his nap without incident from any of them.  We were all in agreement that we were going to church.  We had a peace.  It felt good.  I was smiling up at God and praising Him for glimmers of hope for my family and our quest to serve Him.  Sorry no post yesterday.

CHURCH LAST NIGHT
Girlfriends, the preacher was awesome last night.  He brought out a lesson in 2 Chronicles that blew me away.  He was truly right on.  It was ultimately about judgement and forgiveness and working together to hold each other in accountability.  He made us recognize our own filthiness - sin, and in the same breath tell us that God had a beautiful plan for our church.  We as members are going to be God's  Joash (spelling?).  We are hidden for now as we are being attacked and are attacking each other.  He will break us and heal us.  He will bring us out in His time and our church will be the light and gift to our community in His time.  It was very reassuring, however, I walked away with the desire to truly review my relationships and my acquaintances and purge myself of any judgements, criticisms and resentments.  It was very freeing to listen to God's Word and His words thru our preacher.  

Sweet Friends, I so hope you know that life with all its challenges can truly be "doable" if we know that we are not alone.  Of course we have a God who is available and in fact is in our very midst to help, yet it is helpful or reassuring that there are other women (ME) who still don't do life "right" or  even "Godly".  It doesn't excuse us, but it helps us to not feel condemned.  I do hope if life is dishing out some unpleasant tasks, etc. , you will find rescue in His word and reach out to a friend or other trustworthy person.  Be candid, be wise, and if all else fail LAUGH.  

Smile Girlfriends It Looks Good on YOU! acf

PS: The poll regarding beauty treatments was mostly balanced.  I love pretty hands and nails seem to make the statement.  It has won the poll.  I stand alone with my bath.  I just love the time of peace and the fragrance.  You can't see my hands under the bubbles!  Good thing! Thanks for participating.