Somehow when I didn't get a call back from my group casting call for the Biggest Loser, I didn't feel remorse. It was strange for me. I would of thought I would share some tears, maybe it was where I was at. The calls were to be made by 9:00 pm last Saturday night. I was standing on the beach with two girlfriends making silly pics and feeling sand between my toes, and warm air blowing through my hair. Life was good! 9:00pm came and I said comically, "WAH". I was trying my hardest to find some deep hidden disappointment and hurt. I didn't find it, why? I will tell you soon.
First, the casting call! Kevin drove me to Columbia, SC which was 2 hours away from home. We arrived to a large arena but didn't see anyone around. We turned down a side road and there was a small line along the alley way...ominous. I took my VIP pass out and was ushered to a small group gathered in a hall. We were then corralled like "big" cattle to a holding area marked on the arena floor. Kevin had to go sit in the bleachers. They had passed out 2 page applications but I had come prepared with my 11 page application from the Internet. At the "corral" we were told if our 2 pg application was filled out we could line up for the next casting interview. They specifically said the 2 page app only! Well, I got in line anyway and filled out the app quickly. I was not to be left waiting! We gathered in tables of 12. We were asked to tell our story in 30 seconds. Our table had some interesting stories, some dramatic, some were catty and pushy, and one tore my heart. I told my story quickly (I had practiced) and even pulled out a pic of my boys and Kevin my biggest supporters. The gentleman beside me then gave his story. It was genuine, and it hurt my heart. This was a grown man that almost buckled to tears wanting a chance to be whole again and take on his role as husband, provider, and dad. He wasn't huge but definitely morbidly obese. I touched his shoulder in support. He was a Christian and gave praise to God. I will be surprised if this man doesn't make the show. I left my calling cards with whomever I could find who was involved with the show and left.
Kevin was all smiles and hugged me. He showed such incredible support for such a wild, long shot for an opportunity to succeed in dramatic weightloss...something very important to me and my life. He then drove me 3 more hours to the beach and dropped me off to the loving arms of my friends. He turned around and drove 5 hours home. He is amazing and devoted like none other I know.
Well as my life would have it and if you have read this blog enough, nothing happens in my life that doesn't come with a lesson.
Monday morning after the casting call while still at the beach, the Holy Spirit got ahold of me! Let me begin by telling you that I have been wanting a devotional book to read before I start work each morning. I had bought one the Friday before the casting call. I had chosen a gift book of sorts - a devotional about the simple lives of the Amish. Kevin even found it odd that I would pick a gift book type. So Monday morning I read a story of a woman who had put letters she had written in the wrong envelopes and thereby the letters got to the wrong people. What struck me about this story, which I am sure wasn't the intention of it, was this was a busy, hardworking woman and the fact that she took time to write her sister to encourage her was a self-less feat, and yet her sister never got the letter, it had went to a newspaper office for classified ads. I was asking God why would this happen to her. She took time and wanted to share support to her sister who had moved far away and the efforts were unproductive. Her sister never got the letter.
My husband supported me every step of the way toward my long shot effort to get on the Biggest Loser. He sacrificed time, money and his own desired activities to give me a chance to win! He never once said to me that this was wasted effort and useless. He didn't push too hard nor gave me time limits. He knew it was a slim chance but he believed in me and prayed alot! This is where the Holy Spirit grabbed my heart...Kevin's job search.
Kevin has been unemployed for 2 months and counting. Every time he goes to apply for a job and shares with me the position and his qualifications, he is hopeful. What do I do? I act like a horrible wife! I tell him to get going and don't take 4 days to write the resume. He has a resume but he has been taught to customize each one for the job. It of course takes longer than I want it to. If I don't hurry him, then I say things like "Well are you sure you are qualified?" or "Why don't you try to apply here or there and stop concentrating on just one area?". In other words, I dish out negative or nonsupportive words. How sad! Kevin is very hopeful and prayerful everytime he applys for a job. He needs the support and encouragement he gives me. It doesn't matter whether he lands an interview. He will be successful soon. He needs me to go the distance and show my love and support at the cost of my selfish time, desires, and costs. Where did I drop the ball on this one? I got my heart right that Monday morning. I started praying harder for Kevin. I vowed to support his efforts more no matter what the outcome. He will see a better me! If I had to lose a call back from Biggest Loser to learn a lesson then it was so worth it. Kevin was a mirror to what I lacked. It wasn't pretty for me. It will be better for him. By the way, yesterday Kevin received a call for his first interview - a job in his IT Network field. Pray for him he has it Tuesday, Aug 10th.
As for my weight loss journey, it continues to slowly progress. I will never give up. I will continue to strive for nutrition, health, and a new disciplined body.
Song Dedicated to Kevin: (click below)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9ZMDPf9hZw
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