True Love

This morning I woke up early with some heavy thoughts. This past Friday was a "bad" day. Yesterday, I was trying to restore my heart to a "better" day. This morning I woke up with an "unrested" heart. I had a deep hunger in me for the Word of God. I did what is NOT advised - I opened up my Bible and let the pages fall open. What I read profoundly helped me to understand WHO God the Father is at a new level.

Many of us have a list of names, adjectives, or adverbs of Who God is or what He does. There are songs about it. The names and descriptions are wonderful, powerful, and comforting truths. 

Today I read in Jeremiah. I read a chapter, turned the page, and read the next chapter. However, one verse just hooked me. I had to ponder it and then celebrate it. Jeremiah had a calling that fueled his laments. The calling was hard and took courage. In these chapters, he had a hard assignment by God. You may read the chapters yourself if you wish. Jeremiah 19-20. 

The verse that stood out to me described the Holiness and Perfection of God’s LOVE in a new way. His love is incredibly pure – a crystal clear transparency, flawless, sterile, and genuine. 

Jeremiah 19:5 New American Standard Bible

5 and have built the high places of Baal to burn their sons in the fire as burnt offerings to Baal, a thing which I did not command nor speak of, NOR DID IT EVER ENTER MY [a] MIND; (CAPS are my edit)

Footnote: [a]Jeremiah 19:5 Lit heart.

When we think or the world thinks "How can God allow such travesty, hatred, or horrific circumstances?", consider this verse. However, this verse spoke to me about Who my God is and helped me with my self-condemnation and how I think God looks at me. 

Sometimes I think of myself hopeless and derogatorily - then I transfer how I "feel" to what God must think of me. Reading this verse and hearing Him state that doing something so horrendous to require or suggest this act, which would bring pain upon the sacrificed, and to the parents, family and loved ones, does not enter His mind**, changes my thoughts. 

I thought about this: My Lord God does not think or ponder evil, ugly, impure, and bitter thoughts. He is HOLY with purity and integrity.  What I think about me, He DOESN’T. He doesn't want to harm me or punish me for my sin. He gave me Jesus. My Lord God is holy love. He knows exactly who I am, and I belong to Him. He loves me and He will refine me to be like Him without anger and degradation. Adding to my knowledge of WHO God is that HE IS PURE LOVE. Pure as in “perfect love”.  My friends, God’s love is trustworthy and undefiled. He is what we need to depend on. He is beautiful and we are created in His image. Whatever negatives you accessorize yourself with today, take them off! Put on His love today!

**Re: Abraham and Isaac- God gave us knowledge and wisdom through their situation. The act was never intended to become a ritual or law. The enemy exploited this lesson for evil and distraction to who God is and what He desires. 

Change of Seasons - Gone Red

dark brownish red

When a romantic relationship fails it is not uncommon for a woman to go do something drastic with her hair.  What fuels this action, I am not sure but it is a good guess that a change of look can send a message to oneself. The message I believe is either “fresh start”, “be free”, or “rebel from his expectations re: my hair.”   

Blondish

My sons and husband love long hair.  I personally know that 3 of my son’s former girlfriends cut their long locks to a bob cut after their break ups with him.   I have worn my hair short for quite a few years.  I have been married 28 years and my husband gave up on me going back to long hair of my youth.   However, in the past few years, I have grown out my hair to just below the shoulders and have been somewhat adventurous with my hair color.  I started this when I turned 50.  I went from warm brown to brown with gold highlights, then a dark red, then a deep purple – yes purple, then light brown with blonde highlights, and this summer very blonde highlights with a warm brown underneath.  In September of this year I went light brown with gold highlights. 

Looking back, I notice my color changes and calendar reflect changes in my emotions.  I have had some difficult family challenges for the past 2 years in of which I went from subtle hair color changes to more dramatic ones.   I assume if I didn’t get the changes I desired for our family; I could at least change myself not only within but in my “appearance”.  This is a revealing key to who I am. 

Light brown with highlights

I like to smile.  I smile often. I find joy in many things in life…nature, children, books, traditions, celebrations, and the list goes on.  However, in my household when life isn’t filled with emotions of happiness, it is hard to conjure up a smile.  My family and household environment is very precious and dear to my heart.  I want laughter, peace, and cohesion at its best.  This is not the way life pans out in this world.  We have normal family tensions and we have serious problems too.  When I step out of my nest and into the great sea of humanity, I want to smile and give the world an appearance of togetherness, a reliable smile, and an exchange of kindness.  I do this well until the stress and emotional strain is overwhelming.  Then I have to forge a smile and remember that the people out there in the sea don’t know what I am going through.  They don’t deserve my “woe is me” or “Biatch attitude”.  It’s not their fault my adult son tried my patience for a millionth time, and my husband fell short in “my” expectation.  What works for me in my mind apparently is a drastic hair color change.  “Look at my hair and its coolness or ridiculousness for a 50ish woman and never mind my eye baggage, unseasonable clothing, limp in my gait, and crepe-like wrinkled smile.”

Gone Red

Recently, my household has been rocked and shaken by the effects of some bad lifestyle choices.  My husband and I are of faith and believe in a powerful God who loves and wants our family healthy and equipped to do His service and calling on our lives.  In the meantime, my inner joy is present but my security and happiness is challenged and my smile once again is a struggle at times.  What did I do?  I went red…very red. 

I guess some habits don’t die easily.  If I can’t fix the smile, I will at least have good hair in the midst of a sea of beautiful people. 

You are Loved, acf

House Cleaning - Heart Clearing

Marilyn Meberg - Women Of Faith 

I have heard this funny, vibrant, lady speak a few different times at conferences. I just heard her again at Women of Faith this month in Charlotte.  I am looking forward to reading her recent book.  After hearing a video clip from her, I pondered, "Why do I move so much?"

I used to move because Kev's job or position would change locations.  However for the past 20 plus years it has been for numerous other reasons. I got where I like to move.  I get easily discontent with each home I live in. It is never quite what I really want. No sooner do I move in, I start thinking that the next house will have such and such.

I am getting ready to clean my house. I am seeing things that need to be hung up on the wall, or placed somewhere in a cupboard etc.- things I have bought to decorate or use here. I haven't done anything with them because I am just not satisfied living here. It is too small.  I think my problem however is not so much a "house" problem but a heart problem. I will never be content if I am constantly craving more.  I could relate to this video clip.

Marilyn Meberg clip

Today I will choose to clean my home. I will be grateful for having only one bathroom because some have none.  I will be happy to fix a meal in my tiny one counter kitchen because I have food to prepare and a place to cook.  I will not cuss when I bump into a corner of my pretty coffee table crowded into a small living room.  I will polish my long farm table and be grateful I have "rotten, entitled, spoiled" family to share meals with. I am not alone.  I have children I love.  I know I have much.  I truly am grateful.  I just need to work on my discontent.  It's a house not my shrine.  It is a home filled with laughs, loudness, hugs, and tears - sometimes too many.  It is about so much more than being able to display pretty things, taking a bath without scrubbing the tub first because 3 men use it, and having sleek, large, shiny counters to roll Christmas cookie dough on.  It is about doing life and living in the moment just as I am and in the space I am in.  Can we embroider that on a pillow?  Maybe make a decal to plaster over my door?  I need to remember my own words!

Choose to be content, Anna.  Combat the deceiver that says "never enough" "more" "not fair" "next house" "next time",

Somebody would love to have what I am complaining about. I am blessed.  I am going to "try" and do life in the Friend household better.  I am going to start by getting my tail up and cleaning it.  I appreciate what I have and what God enables my husband to provide. To not clean or care for it is sadly a lack of gratitude to my hard working husband.

Choose to do life wisely my friends.  Choose happiness. Choose contentment.  Even in the midst of dark, trying days that I have and continue to experience, I know I have much to be thankful for.  It is time to live in a standard of gratitude and excellent care for what we have.

You are Loved, acf