Today I read an email response from a friend. She said something that reminded me of God's sovereignty. It is not something new or even profound. It is however truth. A truth that I needed to hear today.
He don't make mistakes....I do.
She and I are connected by our children. They were in a relationship for 2 1/2 years. I am not going into any details of their breakup. However, both of our children clearly struggle with their feelings and emotions. As a woman, I "feel" she is good to stick to her convictions and standards. As a mom, I "feel" hurt for my son and the denial of his love for her. However, what I "know" is that they are adults (by law) and will survive this chapter in life. I know God has a plan for their lives. I say this but I so want to see progress. I tend to ask questions and bring up his plans for dating, etc. WRONG! I need to wait until my son wants to talk, and in reality he does this quite often. Just not frequently enough for this mom. Recently my friend was able to witness an "unplanned" meet up between her daughter and Cory. We both see that our children still love each other, yet we both know that they have genuine struggles. I responded to her email re: the kids seeing each other. I asked her if she thought if it was really over for them. She encouraged me by saying that she has put their relationship in God's hands..."He don't make mistakes....I do."
Ladies, this is the answer. Why worry about what's not in OUR control? We can rest and have hope if we CONSISTENTLY and CONSCIOUSLY place our concern in HIS hands. He doesn't make mistakes. This mom does!!! So this helicopter mom needs to BACK OFF.
On the flip side....
My other son is so smooooooth! He is genuinely funny, caring to the underdogs, loves his mother, and generally honest. He has had some struggles with recreational drugs and smokes like a chimney at times. He has cleaned up and initially started out being serious about school. He has kept his receipts to document his spending and has earned freedom to make decisions about how he spends his free time. All has been well in our home for several months. Well, as of late I am recognizing some familiar behaviors. He is short tempered, defiant to authority - school, etc. and "hungry" often. Hmmm! Do I back off and place in him in God's hands? Well of course. However, does placing him in the hands of an all knowing God mean that I don't intervene and bring him into accountability to his actions? Of course not. I think some of us rather say "Ok God he's your problem" and then drop out of the child's life other than providing for his basic needs. I know this sounds awfully attractive because the thought of dealing with the verbal backlash, school personnel, and more devasting the truth of him admitting to doing drugs again isn't something I look forward to. Hmmmm....so what am I to do? This helicopter mom isn't going to still her blades. I am going to PRAY and confront. I need to seek God's wisdom and guidance through His word, but I cannot sit back passively and watch my gift from God go unvalued. In defense of my son, however, I must say that I could be over reacting. He does not know I am suspicious. I have only seen one grade drop low. He is not getting enough sleep. He sleeps when he comes home and then is up all night, then briefly sleeps before school. He is stretching in height and this could make him hungry. Don't call me naive. Just know that I won't overreact. So today I pray and place my son in God's hands. I will remember that...
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Ladies, this is the answer. Why worry about what's not in OUR control? We can rest and have hope if we CONSISTENTLY and CONSCIOUSLY place our concern in HIS hands. He doesn't make mistakes. This mom does!!! So this helicopter mom needs to BACK OFF.
On the flip side....
My other son is so smooooooth! He is genuinely funny, caring to the underdogs, loves his mother, and generally honest. He has had some struggles with recreational drugs and smokes like a chimney at times. He has cleaned up and initially started out being serious about school. He has kept his receipts to document his spending and has earned freedom to make decisions about how he spends his free time. All has been well in our home for several months. Well, as of late I am recognizing some familiar behaviors. He is short tempered, defiant to authority - school, etc. and "hungry" often. Hmmm! Do I back off and place in him in God's hands? Well of course. However, does placing him in the hands of an all knowing God mean that I don't intervene and bring him into accountability to his actions? Of course not. I think some of us rather say "Ok God he's your problem" and then drop out of the child's life other than providing for his basic needs. I know this sounds awfully attractive because the thought of dealing with the verbal backlash, school personnel, and more devasting the truth of him admitting to doing drugs again isn't something I look forward to. Hmmmm....so what am I to do? This helicopter mom isn't going to still her blades. I am going to PRAY and confront. I need to seek God's wisdom and guidance through His word, but I cannot sit back passively and watch my gift from God go unvalued. In defense of my son, however, I must say that I could be over reacting. He does not know I am suspicious. I have only seen one grade drop low. He is not getting enough sleep. He sleeps when he comes home and then is up all night, then briefly sleeps before school. He is stretching in height and this could make him hungry. Don't call me naive. Just know that I won't overreact. So today I pray and place my son in God's hands. I will remember that...
He don't make mistakes...I do.
Ladies, there are obviously some things out of control in my life...oops out of my control in life, but my life is good. We are enjoying a warm home and my children are healthy. They are in the house. I get to love on them, laugh with them, and live out Godly living the best I can for them. I have a giving, helpful, and patient husband. I have much to be thankful. I am thankful for you. You are my "diary" as a friend puts it. Who knew that being so candid could bring such rewards....like encouragement.
Love you, mean it, Ciao! acf
Love you, mean it, Ciao! acf
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3 comments:
What an eye opener. We have been struggling with Kailee and her issues. It is at time as if we don't exist to her. She will go days and weeks without talking to us and i was so mad about it that i had decided that i was not going to call her about our family Christmas day with my inlaws. but since reading you post, GOD has convicted me and has put it in my heart that HE does not make mistakes, I do. even if she does not think she needs to let us in on her life, we need to always remember that she is our child and no matter what she doe or however she acts she is still our daughter and is a precious gift from GOD. I pray that all goes well with your boy and i will be praying that it is just a growth thing and is just going to eat you out of house and home.
love you
robin
Anna,
I am catching up on my reading again this morning. Know that you are in my prayers as are both your boys. I understand your suspicions but admire your both your restraint in not overreacting and in your resolve to confront it as well.
Love you and call me if you need or want to.
Sonia
Anna,
Know that you are in my heart and mind! Praying for "our" boys! Love you and I'm here for you! It is hard to let go and give God total control but he makes no mistakes! How wonderful and comforting that is to know! Thanks Anna for sharing with us and for letting us know we all face challenges everyday and that we are not alone! We have each other, our families and most of all a loving God! God bless, Ree
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