I continued to listen as I lied there on the cedar planks. I heard conversations about being overweight, getting exercise for the heart and a honest lady even insinuated she needed to lose a few pounds so she could look good. All of these conversations were from the senior patrons.
Senior Joke (author unknown):
Three old ladies were discussing the trials and tribulations of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, "Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem, knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table and then said, "That must be the door, I'll get it!"
Previously working for an Internist, I found myself more sensitive, patient and loving toward our senior citizens. I loved the sense of vitality in some - taking no days on the calendar for granted. I loved hearing of the trips and travels from the ones who were retired and financially comfortable. I loved the ones who bragged on their families and all the while complaining about funding their educations and watching their grandchildren - which wasn't really complaining but another form of internal pride. Sadly though there are always those seniors whose lives are quite lonely.
Again while I was in the sauna, I heard a young girl complaining about having to wear a bra. A senior lady told her, "Honey, I have had to wear one since I was 14 and have never been able to not wear one." She was cute because she wasn't necessarily talking about the propriety of wearing one but the fact that she was quite endowed. As the ladies were leaving the shower room, many of them wished each other a Happy 4th of July. The "bra wearing" woman said as the other ladies were leaving that it was just another day for her. How sad I felt for her. It wasn't that she wasn't patriotic but she clearly had nothing to do. I just wanted to cry. It reminded me of one of our patients at the doctor's office. A senior man had griped and complained to me about paying his co-pay. Then he broke down and started crying literally. He told me that he was paying a co-pay and nothing was wrong with him. He stated he was strong and healthy. He was expressing disappointment. He said, "I am 84 years old and I am going to live. I want to die. I am very lonely. My son lives out west and he doesn't come to North Carolina. He is busy. My daughter recently moved out of the country with my grandchildren. My wife is dead. No one at the retirement home likes sports and the women are few. I am all alone. I am sorry for yelling at you." I will never forget this encounter. I did cry with him and held his hand. I told him I forgive him.
Back at the spa, I showered and went to the dressing room. I was quietly putting on my clothes when another senior lady randomly spoke out, "Things are sure getting high aren't they." At first I didn't know what she meant. She was pulling on her ears. She then said, " I need to get some ear plugs for swimming." I told her I was thinking the same. She then proceeded to tell me about her cataract surgery and eyeglass expenses. She said she had received some help for the surgery and for the glasses but the totals came out to $50 more than she had budgeted. She said she was still trying to catch up. I sympathized with her telling her that I had a hard time paying for my spendy meds too. The conversation ended with her in what appeared to be deep thought. I wondered if her financial situation was preoccupying her life that she struggled to find happiness.
I closed my eyes as Cory drove us home. I realized that I am just like these senior ladies, and if you are not too proud to admit it so are you. We are all women and truly we are more alike than not. They still want to look good. They have their tight groups of friends. They still want their girlfriends approval. They laugh. They gossip. They get irritated. They struggle and have complaints about many of the same things we do. They also fight depression and get lonely at times. They drop tears just like we do. It is just that in general they do it with more wrinkles, more slowly and with more silver. We will all be there some day if our Lord God gives us long life.
Loving senior citizens usually calls for patience. They can be slow, grumpy and/or needy. Some may have odors. I have smelled a lot of White Shoulders perfume and scented powders in the shower room. You may not agree with their philosophies or opinions but you can hold your tongue in respect or politely state your position and give assurance of your care for them. We truly need to ask the Lord to help us to love them. If we are commanded to love one another, then we must love our seniors - they are the "one another".
I know it isn't easy. I remember as a child a neighbor. She was old and literally looked like a thin, gray haired witch. She would walk around the neighborhood with a large canvas bag and a stick. She was scary and didn't talk much. Stories were created that she put children in her bag. She wasn't approachable even to the adults in the neighborhood. Looking back, I imagine she was all alone in her world -not wealthy, unmarried, no friends and very lonely. She became bitter and unkempt. Her bag was filled with bottles and cans to redeem at the local store.
You may not be called or compelled to go to a senior center, or retirement home and visit and/or provide care. I am not called and truthfully not compelled to go there either. I do however know that should I encounter or be among our senior citizens I will love them with the eyes of Christ -if just a hug, smile or to be
a sound board. It all goes back to treat others as you want to be treated.
Today's lessons: Who do you find unlovable? the poor? the unclean? other ethnicities? children? senior citizens? Me??? Ask our Lord God to help you show His love in some simple way when encountered with the unlovable. He died for them too and who are we to think we are better than them and are more deserving of His grace and mercy. I dare to think that God's love would only fall upon those I deem lovable - I would not want his reproof on such an attitude.
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