You Calling Me A Loser

So a few weeks ago I randomly was switching through radio stations and I heard IT!  An opportunity to share my weight problem story and have an opportunity to get a VIP pass to share my story with the Biggest Loser producers at a casting call in Columbia, SC.  It was my time.  I was going to a HisRadio tour event to share my story.  (CLICK ON TITLE TO PUT YOU IN MOOD FOR STORY)

Yesterday morning with the support of my office staff and doctor, Kevin and I set out to meet Rob and Kristin at HisRadio 89.3 in Greenville, SC.  We grabbed a bag of new school supplies for their collection for the Salvation Army to distribute. It was  a significant part of the journey.  It was a cleaning out of what was no longer needed in our office supply closet.  My youngest child has graduated this year. All the brand new overstock was now going to some other child starting their educational years.  I too am starting a journey with new found strength and I too am tossing out old mindsets - no longer needed nor wanted.

I met Rob and Kristin yesterday morning.  Rob has regained his fullness of life back with a significant weightloss journey of 5 years.  It was amazing sharing my story with him as he intently listened and I intently was mesmerized by his beautiful blue eyes and love of God.  He was genuine and caring.  He even acknowledged the gentleman behind me who was standing close by praying Rob and Kristy would hear my heart.  This man was Kevin.  My husband of 23 years.  Kristin was warm and affectionate and Rob caringly said I had him convinced, so into the "hat" my entry went for a chance of 20 VIP passes to the Bigger Loser casting call.

What is so significant about my story?  It started on September 11, 2010 when our country was attacked by terrorists. It was a fearful, hurtfull, and painfull day and so was my journey on the years to follow.  I was on the path to identifying a life crippling and physically painful disease - Behcets Disease.  It has been 9 years and 85+ pounds later.  I was overweight then and now I am morbidly obese.  To read more about my story of Behcets.  Refer to the older post here on my blog "The Behcets Post" January 9, 2009. 

After giving my story, I of course was hungry.  We stayed and listened to the music a bit then headed off to a nearby restaurant to indulge my anxiety in a big, ridiculous breakfast.  Why?  After all that I have read, learned and shared with others about emotional eating...there I went straight to the stomach! Lol!  I don't even know why I am laughing.

Click below for some inspiration!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yboeamcxLXc

On the way back to the radio event and drawing which was to be held at 9:00am sharp, I realized I had left my precious lipstick at home.  I was 1 1/2 hours from home.  If you know me, I cannot be without my lips!  I had Kevin drive me to Walmart for a cheap tube of lipstick. I use only one brand and its not sold in stores so I had to buy some on the fly with little investment. While I was there, I saw the bright wonderful boxes filled with inexpensive school supplies for sale.  They were like a magnet.  I had to go see them.  My heart ached - no more backpacks and bright colored folders.  I did it! I grabbed a bunch of supplies bought them and took them to the radio collection.  You see friends, once again I had an emotional response to a need of fulfillment.  By the way the lip gloss I bought was worth what I paid - $2.  It was horrible and the color was non existent.  WAH!!

While waiting for the drawing, I met with Amy a contestant on Biggest Loser.  She was full of information and life.  She lost over 100 lbs on Biggest Loser and still looks great.  She was what I so want to be for someone..a voice.  I will no longer be a victim of steroids and my disease. I will no longer be a Diva in distress!  I can do this.  I have started this path prior to yesterday.  I don't get up at 4am to go to the gym for nothing. It is time to kick it up a notch and get going!  I know this. I have this energy and flame that is like no other experience. This weight loss has everything to do with me...not just BECAUSE of work, Kevin, my family and whom or whatever!  But FOR them too.  I can't be or do for them my best until I give my best to myself for my health and the purposes God sets before me.  I have buried my true self and who I am in Christ beneath layers of emotional, negative mindsets too long.  I want to help myself and others to rise above their illnesses and restrictions and make a change to no longer be a victim of their labels and assignments in life.  I am starting to feel like a preacher!

The drawing began at 9:00am sharp!  Many wonderful names were called, and many emotional responses.  I so could understand their excitement. It wasn't a guarantee for a call to be on the show but it was a step in the right direction.  They were ready and willing to do what it took.  I was fearful my name would not be called, after all only 20 names were to be called out and they had already called out 6 or 7.  I am very impatient!  My name was called. I stood there...clapping with joy but frozen. Kevin had to give me a nudge.  Rob was sweet and told the crowd I had the most supportive husband.  It made me proud and Kevin didn't mind the accolade either.  He seems to be the air beneath my wings with little acknowledgement.  I am truly spoiled. 

After group pics, we left and went about our day.  I of course texted my loved ones who some had no idea I was pursuing this cast.  I received lots of encouragement and I felt the love.  My day was peaceful.  I concentrated on packing for the beach.  I am looking forward to basking in the sun today after going to the casting call in Columbia, SC.

Friends, I have truly changed in heart regarding my weight.  If you know me, I have tried everything to lose weight...bought the kits, counted the points, read the books, and joined the gyms.  I have always fallen victim to whatever the negative circumstance was in my life...lack of health, stress, etc.  I no longer have the pressure or anxiety about losing the weight. I will do this.  I will do it for myself and for those who I may meet who need to be encouraged.  I will be accountable to myself these days for my weight loss, unless of course I have a Biggest Loser partner and Julian or Bob screaming in my face! Lol!  I should type..Crying out Loud! 

I have to laugh thinking of my spoiled, lazy tail on Biggest Loser.  I would make some great TV!  You know they would have me strung up and beat with my first whine or Keeeevin!  Please pray for me as I continue my journey.  You are loved!