Healing Rain

I am sitting here drinking a warm cup of coffee in a bright red Christmas mug.  It is cloudy right now and cool in temperature.  I am unusually peaceful this morning.  God showed up this morning. 

I told a friend last night that I have emptied myself of all efforts to reform my child.  I have loved. I have disciplined.  I have bought pricey meds.  I have sent him to counseling.  I have forced church.  I have bought the toys and gifts to celebrate improvements.  I have hugged, and yes, I prayed.  I even surrendered his care to God.  My son remains rebellious, defiant, and disrespectful.  I told my friend with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes that my son will be put out when he is 18, the day after Thanksgiving.  I am done. 

God isn't.

Later last night while playing Scrabble on line with my sister she shared some encouraging words.  She also reminded me who I was truly battling, Satan.  She recognized the strong love Kevin and I share and the commitment we've had for our children all these years.  It felt good to know someone believes we have been good parents and that Tim is not the way he is because of us.  I didn't know what to say, but I it touched my heart and I didn't feel so condemned.

Before I signed off Facebook last night, I reached out to a friend through a chat.  She knows some very private struggles and she does not judge me.  In fact, she is a great listener.  Last night she didn't give advice or her opinion.  She expressed her sorrow for me and asked one question, "How can I help?"  Friends, I am crying as I type this.

God hasn't given up on my child or me.  He is reaching out through my friends.  I can hardly believe I am this loved. 

This morning I was lying in bed and Kevin had come in after his shower.  He dressed and said he was going upstairs to talk to my son.  I was anxious immediately. It had been a rough day.  Tim ditched school and didn't come home until 8:00pm.  I just knew any moment I would hear cussing and meanness from Tim. I laid there and asked God to be with my husband. 

I asked God how do I pray for my son.  I am so tired.  I am so hurt.  I felt so hopeless.  I told God I didn't have any more faith to give.  Friends, God showed up.  He enveloped me with warm peace and told me to pray for "healing of his mind".  I knew it was truly a Holy Spirit revelation. 

Wait! There's more.

Kevin returned from seeing Tim.  He layed by me and looked at me.  He seemed okay (no verbal bruising).  I was afraid to ask what was said.  He said he didn't have a conversation with Tim. He told Tim he was going up to his room each morning for 30 minutes before he had to get up for school, and he was going to read to Tim.  Kevin had spent 30 minutes reading a Josh McDowell book regarding the evidence of a real God and that the Bible is true.  He has committed to do this each school day. 

Friends, do you get it?!  He was feeding his mind!  It was confirmation.  God wants to heal Tim's mind. 

So today I am "rooting" some hope. 

Do you have anything in your life that challenges your faith?  I hope today's post will give your some fragment of hope and encourage your faith. 

My prayer for Tim....Healing Rain.  (Click on Title)