Hello, girlfriends! It is so cool to be home and awake. I went to bed very early last night, even before the chickens, do chickens go to bed early, Sonia? Anyways, I have been medicating and trying to heal up from a respiratory infection.
Work is going fine. It is nice to be around such a nice staff, but ladies, I miss home. Why??? At this stage in my life, I don't have childcare, extensive housecleaning, and other activities to keep me home, but I love being home. I miss doing all the little things that fill my day and help me better myself and home. I hear several people say they would get bored being at home all the time but I love to read and watch old movies if I could ever be bored. I sometimes just do these things because I enjoy them. I love an indulgent bubble bath in the middle of the afternoon. I realize that staying at home doesn't pay the bills or provide for fun stuff but I am fine with this for now. I don't know why I am even bringing this up. I guess I am conflicted in my heart. I want to be home so badly but then again I do love a paycheck and again working with the staff. I still choose home!
Today, I was told by a friend that a family member asked her a demeaning question about her weight. She is a pretty woman and is full figured but not huge. She shared this and I was sad for her because I too have been a victim of people's comments and insinuations. I told her I didn't know how to respond and wondered if she knew what to say at the time. She said she didn't know what to say. How is one supposed to act when someone asks "why are you fat, or when are you going to lose weight, etc?" It's not like we want to make fun of ourselves. It's not like we agree with their ugliness. I told her I had read when someone asks a rude question that you should ask them a question back like "Why do you want to know?".
My point of bringing this up is I think we need to not look at the physical so much. It is no one's business why someone is fat or needs to lose weight. If you are not genuinely able to offer tangible help and a commitment to pray for that individual, you don't need to inquire or comment on their weight. My friend and discussed the fact that the person (a family member) who asked her the rude question didn't bother to acknowledge who she is and what she does. This woman is the most educated person in her family (her parents didn't even finish high school), she has a good marriage, she is a medical professional, she has a mannerly young son, she is a Christian, and a giver in her community. Apparently, none of these things matter if you are fat. I, too, am so much more of a person in what I do and in my personal accomplishments than just a fat person. I am not lazy, or an out of control person. I am not unGodly because I am fat. I am a woman who loves and gives. I read a blog of my friend who described herself as plump. I don't see it but what I do see is a hard working, giving, self-sacrificing woman. Who dare to call her fat or judge her by her body shape? Aren't people ugly?! They may be all prettied up and poised but if they are judging by appearance then their hearts are vomiting up their true inner self...yuck!
I got on a soap box but goodness, girlfriends, how dare someone be so insensitive? I hope we will all take a moment to realize out of our hearts our mouths speak. Please choose your words carefully. Also, remember to look beyond appearance when we meet someone or spend time with a large person. We are so much more than our size. We have weight battles...some thru medications, some thru thyroid issues, some thru emotional issues, and new studies are finding evidence of a gene defect re: weight control. These are not excuses but when you know a person is continuously trying to lose weight and are not having success, then cut them some slack because you don't know the whole story. Pray for your sisters who want to lose weight. We are so much more than a dress size.
It's 9:00pm. Past my bedtime. I love you all...sorry for the ranting. It just stung me today to hear this. My friend is beautiful inside and out. She didn't deserve this. How about a list from by book of lists?
Here's a List on Kindness
Be Kind and Merciful.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.
Be a living expression of God's kindness.
Kindness in your face.
Kindness in your eyes.
Kindness in your smile.
Kindness in your warm greeting.
- Mother Teresa, founder of Missionaries of Charity.
1 comment:
Anna,
Yes, chickens really do go bed early. About dusk dark, they head to their roost. That's how we caught the one who was loose yesterday. We went back at dusk and she was ready for bed and wasn't so much of a runner... She was right by the Hilton, wanting in.
As far as the comment from your friend's family member, if she wants to know why your friend is fat, perhaps next time your friend could ask her in return why she's ugly. Walk away and leave it up to the family member to decide whether she's talking about appearance or behavior... or both.
That's probably not the best response. Perhaps the best response is to go directly to the heart of the matter and ask the person why they feel entitled to be asking in such a manner (one not of love but of humiliation). If they appear to have spoken before they thought, then forgive and let it go. But if they persist in their rude and hurtful attitude, then let them know we'll be praying for their self-righteous weight policing since it's very superficial and every bit as unattractive as our weight issues...
Sonia
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