Brittney Spears Renewed

I was watching a morning show concert yesterday, and today it was re-visited. It was the concert of Brittney Spears who was celebrating her birthday. She was being billed as renewed, and growing up and out of her less than responsible reputation. She was upheld as being a person who is very talented and deserving of our pity. This blog is not going to be a bash Brittney entry even though I am not a fan. This blog is going to be about restoring a bad reputation, whether earned or not.

It is hard to replace the negative thinking of others, once you receive a label, or an identification with a negative action, person, etc. As common with being human, we can be very unforgiving. We look for change and make the person with the bad reputation earn our favor again. We are very critical and judgmental. This is partly a responsible attitude. We don't want to be victims or associated with a person who earned the reputation and is not making any changes in their lives. But what about those that truly have recognized their negative actions, etc. and are genuinely trying to change. If they are an habitual liar, or gossiper, how do you trust them again? I don't have the answers. I know I have been victim of a false reputation, and I have also justly deserved my label at times too. Here are a couple of examples:

Many, many years ago as a young naive teenager, and college student, I unfairly was labeled as a "boyfriend" stealer. Honestly, don't laugh! Here are some scenarios. I had a best friend in high school, named Anna, she had a boyfriend who was quite a bit older than her. He was very handsome and seemed to care for her quite a bit. Anna had some mental issues apparently, and started using recreational drugs. Her boyfriend (1 time) came to my house and asked if he could talk to me. I went outside and sat in the front yard very visibly and talked with him on how he could help my friend. We were outside for about 30 minutes and she came by. She immediately started crying and took off. He followed her. They ended their relationship. She ended our friendship. About 3 weeks later, her former boyfriend returned to my home. I went on a date with him. My young, mean self wanted to date him out of spite. We dated a few months and it was over. My friend and I restored our friendship a year later. Some same scenario happened when I was in college. I had a wonderful friend named Theresa. She and a guy met in college and dated most of the school year. She began to feel self conscious about her weight (which wasn't bad) and her self esteem seemed to roller coaster . She pulled away from her boyfriend. He became confused. One night heading home from the library, her boyfriend stopped me outside of the library. We sat in plain view on a park bench. He was angry, basically hurt. Of course, Theresa walks by and thinks the worst. We end our friendship after my numerous attempts to restore our friendship. I wrote her a poem, letter, and sent gifts. She was important to me. No avail. I again in my naive, rebellious spirit met her then ex-boyfriend at a party and the rest is history. We dated for a month and parted ways for the summer and never saw each other again. The reputation was invalid and unearned, but my actions were suspicious. I had to take ownership and no longer entertain the thought of being a relationship mender or pretend psychologist. I had other experiences where guys liked to talk to me about their relationships only to find out they would get emotionally attached. I would start out only to encourage but obviously it would get me in trouble. I changed my ways and no longer accepted or accomodated any requests "To Talk" from the opposite sex. My girlfriends meant more to me than any guy and they still do! I now only spend time with MY HUSBAND and gay men - not intentionally but somehow they gravitate to me like flies on "cake", Lol!

The other reputation that needed excavating was that of being a "Whiner". I earned this one. I was a spoiled, catered to wife and mom. I couldn't just ask for anything. I would whine to my loved ones when I wanted them to do or give me something. It all started when I got sick in 2001. I had to depend on my husband to do so much for me as I was full of ulcers and near crippled with joint pain. He not only took care of the home, saw to my medical and personal care, but he would dress me each night in my pjs. He was always so tender and sweet. I loved the attention. My boys would retrieve things for me since I was bed ridden. They were so obliging and would sometimes hop on the bed and visit after bringing the requested item. I loved their attention too. This illness also put me in the hospital several times. I had nurses and doctor care which fed into my "take care of me" attitude. My health improved and I went back to work after quite some time. I worked hard and gave of myself to my friends and fellow employees. But, I never quite got rid of my "whining" "what about me?" tones. My friends would patiently laugh and poke fun. I soon had to own up to my reputation and stop frustrating people and getting on their nerves. I had to evaluate my ways and make adjustments. I still love being spoiled by my family. I am treated quite "princess" like. However, I don't make demands and I don't whine (a lot anyway). I enjoy what they freely give. I give back and I seek forgiveness and ask God to help me in my selfish ways. It's not easy changing a reputation but there is hope.

So how are you to forgive or associate with a person who is trying to change their ways and dissolve a bad reputation. I don't know. I do know that the Bible says we are not to judge. We are to forgive. We are to be kind to others. I would say be patient and look for valid change. Compliment/acknowledge them on their changes. Give them a second chance or 490 chances.

Bible Verses to consider:

Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" 22Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21,22

Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, 2with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, Ephesians 4:1-2

32Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32

Need to forgive yourself? Consider this:

9If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Note:
ehow.com gives the following advice on changing a bad reputation.

In your private life

Step1

Examine the way you treat others. Is there any truth to the bad reputation?

Step2

Seek a second opinion from your spouse, a trusted friend or a therapist. Ask if they have recommendations and listen carefully to their answers.

Step3

If you determine that you need to improve a personal attribute, make a commitment to yourself to change your ways.

Step4

Apologize to loved ones whom you have hurt and let them know you will work hard to improve the relationship.

Step5

Tell others that you're trying to improve. They can hold you to your commitment even when you lapse.

Step6

Perform one act every single day that counteracts your bad reputation.

Step7

If you are the victim of malicious gossip, address its source. Be firm yet nonconfrontational. The gossiper is probably jealous, and if you respond with anger or emotion, it will delight him or her no end.


Back to Brittney. I wish her well if she is growing up and making herself over. She needs Jesus. In the meantime, she lives in her Circus (concert theme) and looks great. Can't fault her for a great body. Maybe I can go on tour with her as the Fat Lady or a clown! acf